Dear Bladder,

…you are not my friend today. In fact, you have not been my friend for some time now. I have a few bones to pick with you…

You are the reason I am tired today. You are the reason I am tired most days. Perhaps you didn’t get the memo. Pregnant Chandra needs sleep. These are her last few glorious months with the possibility of uninterrupted sleep. That does not seem to be coinciding with your current schedule. Every single night, you feel it necessary to wake me up at 3:50am on the dot to run to the bathroom (and more often than not, also around 11pm and 1am). My body jolts awake, feeling as if Niagara Falls is about to flow from my body. I peel myself from under the covers and out of bed to shimmy to the toilet. Because this happens like clockwork each and every night, I have learned to make this maneuver with my eyes closed (peeking only briefly once I reach the toilet to ensure some snake or other sewer critter isn’t swimming in there, patiently waiting for me to have a seat). However even with the closed-eye approach, once I have left the comfort and warmth of my bed my mind begins to crank and my body begins to wake up. There is no going back to the deep slumber that I enjoyed before you so suddenly woke me AT 3:50AM. If possible, do you think we could try to push this back to somewhere around 6am when my alarm goes off? And maybe even 8-ish on the weekends? Think about it and get back to me.

Not only do you interrupt my sleep, but you have also altered my daily activities. No sip of water, not even a single reposition in my desk chair, goes without that familiar feeling – Niagara Falls knocking at the door, waiting to escape. Fearing a possible accident at work, I stop what I’m doing and shimmy down the hall to the ladies room. Sometimes I feel like I need to speed my shimmy to a quick jog (something that would surely provide entertainment for all that I pass along the way) because of your urgency. I pick a stall and get ready to release the rapids when… drip. Drip. Drip. That’s it?! You’ve got to be kidding me! I sit for a moment, making absolutely SURE that there’s nothing else coming before I trek back to my desk. And there’s nothing. Defeated, I shuffle back to my desk to get back to work. Lo and behold, not 10 minutes later, with a sip of water or reposition in my chair – there it is! “The Falls” are banging on the door again. Aha! I knew I wasn’t crazy the first time – I really DO have to go. I shimmy back down the hall to the bathroom, have a seat, and… drip. Drip. Drip. Foiled again. You win, bladder. Just as you won yesterday. And the day before that.

Please consider this letter my waving of the white flag. I give up – I surrender. Please let me know when you’re ready to show some mercy and call a truce.

Many thanks.