Let the rain fall down...

Kevin's been gone a little over a week now. I must say that I think I've handled it relatively well... for an overemotional female. I have only had 2 emotional breakdowns where I thought the world was falling down around me because he just wasn't here. And that's pretty good in my book. I was expecting 1 or 2 breakdowns a day. Yes, I love my hubby and I feel like a crazy person when he's not here. Last weekend was hard. Really hard. I pretty much became a hermit. Kevin had been gone for not even 3 days, and it hit me. Hard. I didn't leave the house. I cleaned, I mowed the lawn, and I weeded (weeded?! Is that a word?) my flowerbed. And a few martinis Saturday night helped me through. I survived. Last night was another tough night. Because it was Valentine's Day, you ask? Not at all. We don't celebrate that day - I slipped a card into his suitcase and he sent me flowers. We've never done any big she-bangs for that day. It's just silly. So it was a normal day for us. I don't know what it was. I just missed him. But I cried, got it out of my system, and got on with it. There will be more of those days, I'm sure. But I do my best to wake up happy each morning as if it were any other day.

With Kevin gone, I'm realizing more than ever that Abbi and Bax (our kiddos) are extremely protective of me. Yes, believe it or not, these hyperactive self-involved dogs go through some sort of change while he's gone. It's so weird. Even with Kevin here, I'm the "dog lady". I love dogs. With all of my heart. If I see any dog (stray or friend's dog), I'm in love. And 100% attached. Cheryl calls me the dog whisperer part deaux. But back to my babies. With Kevin gone, I'm realizing that they are forever by my side. And there are two of them, which can make for pretty crowded couch/bed quarters at times. Bax becomes my lap dog. No matter what I'm doing - eating, drinking, or just sitting - he's in my lap. And won't get up. Abbi becomes the watchout. She sits in the hallway or in the middle of the living room rotating positions, watching each door. It's so strange, but so comforting at the same time. If you don't have a dog, you probably don't understand. But it's like they know Kevin's gone and they have to look out for me. And it's nice.

*just a side note... I won week one of the weight loss challege. Chandra - 1; parents - 0. $50 in my pocket. SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!

Here's some pics of our kids, for the 3 people on this planet that have never met them.

Abbi - if she's not smiling (seriously, she shows teeth and all), she's cocking her head at you like this.

Baxter - he's usually off in his own world, but he's a hunk of love.

Bikini Body, Here I Come!... Maybe

It's coming up on that time of year. All girls know it, and 99% of girls dread it. Bikini season. I used to LOVE bikini season.... when I was a size 6. Laying out by the pool, going to the beach - LOVED it! I have always been self concious of my body, but never so self concious that I wasn't terrified to slip on a bathing suit.

Until about 3 years ago.

What the hell happened?! Beer, pasta, and falling into the trap of knowing Kevin loves me no matter what I look like. That's what happened. ugh.

But this year, I'm kicking it into high gear. My ass is in the initial phases of pure hell. All for the sake of getting in shape and getting healthy. But for now, my sole motivation are those little bikinis that have been so wonderfully hidden away in their own drawer for the past year. Those little monsters that have brought me so much angst, depression, and shame for the past 3 years.

So I challenged my parents to a weight loss challenge. My parents have been working out together for the past few months trying to get themselves in better shape. And it's been working for them! So I knew they were my best competition. Every week, we're pooling $25 per person (that's a $75 pot per week for you non-mathletes). The one who loses the biggest percentage of weight loss (can you tell I watch Biggest Loser?) get's the pool of money for the week. We started last Friday, so our first official weigh-in is this Friday morning. I have been sticking 100% to my Nutrisystem (I'm a complete advocate for this program, by the way) and working out every day. My eliptical machine is back in motion and my abs are killing me from the crunches. I'm doing this, and I'm doing it the right way.

Like a maniac though, I weigh myself every other time I walk by my scale (which I NEVER used to do out of sheer terror of what it would show). All weekend through yesterday... nothing. No change. I felt so defeated. But today after I got home from work, I stepped on with my eyes closed. I didn't want to look for fear of seeing that same God awful number. But, oh holy hell!! I dropped 3 pounds. Out of nowhere! Now 3 pounds... eh, not a huge feat. But it's progress ;)

I would love nothing more than to be 15 lbs lighter for my trip to see Kevin. That's my short-term goal. It's 90 degrees out there, and I have no doubt I will be in a bathing suit at some point or another. And it would thrill me to show him that I've been working my ass off to be a hot wife for him. And for me, too!

We'll see. Think skinny, small(er) ass thoughts for me. I'll need them ;)

Fun times

We booked our hotel for Malaysia last night! So everything’s set! I had this hotel that I was in love with all lined up – I had the vacation package picked out, my massage all but booked, and pictures in my mind of me and Kevin laying out by the pool. It was an awesome hotel. So yesterday Kevin calls to finalize all of the reservations and give them our credit card information. Bad news. They’re renovating the entire hotel. It’s still open, but they are graciously notifying guests that there have been numerous complaints of noise – in other words, “You might want to stay somewhere else”. Very very cool of a hotel to do. So we booked at another equally amazing hotel and all is right with the world again. Except tomorrow Kevin leaves. *tear*

Last weekend was great. Kevin wanted to spend time with the gang (i.e. – Cheryl and Saul) before he left. So Saturday night we went to BW3’s and then went to our house for another installment of Crane/Keene/Wittmann game night – girls vs. boys, of course. Squabble led to drunk Dance Dance Revolution which I totally need to post pictures of. Stories don’t do our dDDR sessions justice. We even got Mr. Kevin Crane in on the action, although he doesn’t quite share the enthusiasm that Cheryl, Saul, and I have for it.
Sunday morning we went to the Houston Auto Show and got a first-hand look at our future car – the new Chevy Camaro. Seeing this car – Bumblebee from Transformers – in person was amazing. I’m not a Transformers fanatic and couldn’t have cared less about what cars they used in the movie, but seeing the Camaro up close made me catch my breath a little. I fell completely in love with it – it’s going to look beautimus in our driveway next year. Moving on… after the Auto Show we went over to Cheryl and Saul’s apt for the Superbowl. Cheryl’s parents were there, which is always fun times. Too bad we didn’t make Jello shots – next time, Mrs. KJ, next time. And Keith came over to hang out, too. Saul played chef and cooked up some fantastic football food, and we watched the game. None of us particularly cared who won (once the Packers were out, me and Kevin were pretty much destroyed), and yet we all were yelling and pointing at the tv by the time the game was over. While it hurts me a little to support an alumni of the Ole Miss football team (Go Gold!), I must give props to Eli Manning. Sweet game, dude.