Lost: Filter

Since I don't have much to update since my 10-week post, I thought I'd just share a fun occurance that's been going on. First, though - I had my 2nd OB appointment Monday! Nothing extremely exciting like an ultrasound, unfortunately. I won't get another ultrasound (i.e. new picture of Bun to share) until week 20 when we should find out whether it's a boy or girl - exciting!!! That should be right around Christmas, so ho ho ho to me! My appointment was for some bloodwork and my annual "fun lady exam" as I like to call it. Which all of us ladies know is really no fun at all. But with the bad comes the good, and my good came in the form of a little Doppler machine that Dr. Wonderful pulled out of her bag of tricks. She wanted to get an update on Bun, and since we weren't doing an ultrasound she used this Doppler machine to find the baby's heartbeat! It took a while to find - I think even she got a little nervous because she kept saying "You're not leaving this room until we find your baby's little heart". And just when I was on the brink of tears because she couldn't find any heartbeat other than mine, there it was! No words can describe the feeling I got when I heard that little flutter of beats. It melted my heart and turned me into someone that "Chandra from 3 years ago" would've totally made fun of. I've become a softie, and this little person that I haven't even met yet has already got me wrapped around its tiny fingers.

Now, on to something a little more entertaining...

I think I've lost my filter. What filter, you ask? The filter that makes me civilized. The filter that keeps my manners in check. The filter that controls my actions and words. And I think I've lost it. Honestly, I didn't know it was gone until Kevin and I were walking through the grocery store one day and Kevin had to scold me. Yes, a true-blue, mom-style, just-short-of-a-spanking kind of scold. I think it was when I was pushing the buggy along, and a man made the mistake of crossing right in front of me. I'm pretty sure I threw my hands up in the air and said something about his blatant disregard to grocery store traffic etiquette. And once I got a little closer to him, I'm also pretty sure I made a comment about how he should've been on the soap aisle instead of the produce section because his B.O. was "stanky". Kevin snapped his head around to me, bug-eyed, and mouthed "STOP IT!" My little quips weren't exactly quiet - the man definitely heard me. Isn't that awful? It doesn't end there. I also make ugly faces at little kids that are annoying me. Or little kids that just happen to be looking at me. I "comment" a little too loud when teenage girls - hell, even grown ass women - are wearing certain items of clothing that are entirely too tight or short. I get a lot of dirty looks, but what are you going to do? You can't hit me - I'm pregnant! Learn how to dress, you disgrace to society, and there wouldn't be a problem in the first place. My non-filter doesn't just end with strangers. I've gone on and on in restaurants about whether what I ordered was absolutely amazing or whether it was not so great. Kevin's had to leave some hefty tips to counteract the fact that I've announced to anyone in earshot that the service was the worst ever. I also tell Kevin everything I feel going on in my body - even if it's just gas (sorry - I warned yall I wasn't holding anything back. Don't act like you don't get the gas...). I've woken him up at 2am just to tell him that I was uncomfortable. If that man is still standing beside me at the end of this, I swear I'll be a lucky woman.

In conclusion, if I offend you in any way or make ugly faces at your child I apologize. Just remind me to try to find my filter. I promise I'll do all I can to be on my best behavior.