Catching Up… Hard to do with Pregnancy Brain

I was just cursing my best friend for not updating her blog for nearly 4 weeks when I realized that I am such a hypocrite. Over the past few weeks, I have been so inundated with all things “baby” that the blog has fallen to the bottom of my list (along with laundry, shaving my legs, and the oh-so-fun task of writing Thank-You cards). So here I sit with the challenge of making my brain focus on one thing for more than 3 minutes.

Before I got pregnant, I gawked at the notion of pregnancy brain. It was a farce to me – a lame excuse women used to get away with being absent-minded. Pre-pregnancy, I was a perfectionist. Everything fell into a schedule, and everything happened according to a plan. Being absent-minded was not an option. Absent-minded people were just unorganized – they didn’t take the time to focus and really get things done they way they ought to. Then BAM! Sperm meets egg, 6-8 months go by, and I can no longer remember what I set out to do five minutes ago. Are you kidding me?! I try so hard to be that organized, planned-out perfectionista that I once was but I think I’ve lost her for the time being. I do try, though. My desk is covered in post-its because if I don’t tag the status of every. single. paper on my desk, I WILL forget why it’s sitting there. My house is cluttered with to-do lists, sometimes 2 or 3 of the exact same list because I will start making a list, walk away, and forget all about it just to start the exact same list 15 minutes later. Once again I ask… are you kidding me?! It’s like my brain just decides that it’s done for that moment and walks away with absolutely no notice to me. I can be mid-sentence and completely forget what in the world I was talking about or where I was trying to go with a story. I will get up to do something (which in and of itself is becoming quite a task) only to forget what I needed to do once I’m up. I’ve even gotten in my car, gotten out of my neighborhood, and completely forgot where I was going. All I can do is hope that I regain some sense of cohesion once the baby is born because I don’t think I could put up with myself like this forever, much less expect those around me to put up with this too!

Along with my pregnancy brain, I am in full-blown nesting mode. I didn’t really know this was a real state of mind until I caught myself going up to the nursery just to re-fold baby blankets that I had put away earlier. Only I think my nesting has become more of a neurosis. If we get anything to add to the nursery, it HAS to be put away immediately. And while I’m putting that away, I HAVE to check on everything that I’d previously put away and re-touch and move around if it needs it. OCD much? Yeah, probably. I contribute it to my perfectionista trying to come through and control the situation – for whatever reason, the nursery is the only place I can really focus. And I’m not sure if it’s typical “nesting”, but cleaning the rest of my house seems to fall under my nesting/neurosis umbrella. I will literally follow my husband around and pick up after him. That sweet gesture you’re making by cooking a homemade dinner? Slightly less romantic and thoughtful because I’m following you through the kitchen with a dishrag, wiping the counter each time you set something down or pick something up. Taking my dishes to the sink after dinner so that I don’t have to get up to do it? That is so sweet. You really shouldn’t have. REALLY – you shouldn’t have because I’m getting up behind you to make sure the dishes are going into the dishwasher instead of sitting in the sink. Hard day at work? Sit back and take off your shoes and socks – put your feet up. Only disregard my grumbling as I get up to immediately take those shoes and socks to the closet so they’re out of the way. It’s not like my hubby is a messy guy – I know those things will get picked up eventually. I just have this overwhelming urge to do it NOW. Agh – I said it before and I’ll say it again… if that man is still by my side when all of this is over, I am an extremely lucky woman. Some days, I honestly don’t know how he can look at me with a straight face and tell me he loves me.

For now, I’ll leave you with this one realization that I’ve been mulling over for the past few days. The nursery is ready. The baby showers are over. The clothes are hung in the closet, and the diapers are stacked on the changing table. There is only one thing left to do. HAVE THE BABY. Yipes.

*Although when I really get worked up about that one thing left to do, I just think about this face and realize that I’d give anything for delivery day to be tomorrow so I can see him in person.

Top Ten

It’s Friday and my brain is too far gone from the hectic week to put together a post, so I made some lists. Call me Mrs. David Letterman – they’re my Top Tens of Pregnancy (of course – what else?), although not listed in any specific order.

Things that I miss:

• My favorite pair of jeans. I tear up a little if I look at them too long, sadly hanging in my closet crying “Wear me! Pick me!”
• The ability to stay up past 10pm without feeling like a total zombie.
• Margaritas.
• Sleeping through the night without waking up 2-3 times for potty trips. We’ve gone through more toilet paper in my pregnancy than should be allowed by law.
• Wearing my wedding and engagement rings. I bought a stand-in to wear through the rest of my pregnancy, but it’s just not the same.
• Wearing heels. Like my jeans, I tear up a little when I look at them sitting in my closet, literally collecting dust. Although, I must admit I’ll probably keep a few pairs of flats around post-baby. I’ve become a big fan.
• My Victoria’s Secret pj’s. I actually boxed up my pre-pregnancy pj’s so I wouldn’t be able to see them. Or attempt to wear them and inevitably stretch them out. I know hubby is waiting for the day that I pull that box down from the top of my closet. Let’s just say looking cute at night hasn’t exactly been as big a priority to me as it was before I got pregnant.
• Being able to “get up and go” in a moment’s notice. It takes a little time and a lot of effort for me to go from point A to point B. Especially in a hurry.
• Beers with my buddies.
• Being able to bend over, twist, and put on pants and undies without hobbling around like a complete idiot.

Things that I love:

• Feeling my baby move. Best. Feeling. EVER. I love that I feel like I know him so well already.
• Reading What To Expect When You’re Expecting each week to track baby’s growth and progress.
• The compassion I get from other women – who knew they could be so nice? From simple acknowledging smiles in the grocery store to full blown conversations in the elevators, pregnancy seems to provide an instant bond between women.
• Hearing/reading other people’s baby stories and knowing that I’m not alone.
• My hubby’s face when he feels the baby move.
• My Snoogle body pillow – it’s a lifesaver. I highly recommend it for all preggos.
• Knowing that this is the one time in life I’m allowed to stuff my face and get round without judgment from others (although some people still feel the need to judge…morons).
• My new boobs.
• Decorating the nursery and hanging up teeny clothes.
• Maternity jeans – I’ll miss the elastic waistbands dearly once this is all over.
• Foot and back rubs from hubby.

Things I’m not so crazy about:

• The swelling – sometimes my ankles and the spaces between my toes disappear completely. I feel like I need to put up “LOST - REWARD” signs for them
• The heartburn that now bothers me all day and wakes me up at night. At least Tums has come a long way on their flavors.
• The fact that I cannot stand up or roll over in bed without extreme effort – complete with grunts and heavy breathing on my end and a few smirks and snickers from hubby’s end.
• The extra layer of cellulite that has taken up residence on my thighs and hiney. As if I weren’t cursed enough before baby. Mother Nature has such a wicked sense of humor.
• My ever-expanding booty. Like the cellulite, as if my booty weren’t big enough before, I feel like one single pair of my pregnancy undies could double as a swimming pool cover.
• The stretchmarks that continue to spread across my mid section. Cheryl’s neighbor (who’s also a mom and stretchmark victim) had a great analogy. It looks like Freddy Krueger attacked my belly.
• The hormone swings. I can go from your best friend to your worst nightmare in the blink of an eye. For absolutely no reason, other than the fact that you are standing there. Breathing.
• The fact that I can no longer climb into bed without a little help from hubby. I feel like a 5-year-old.
• The hot flashes. Although they aren’t as bad as the horror stories I’ve heard from some women. I get them occasionally at night where I’ll wake up in a pool of sweat, and sometimes during the day just sitting at my desk. I'm the crazy lady pounding bottles of water while fanning myself with a manila folder.
• The constant worry of hypertension and preeclampsia, now that I’m in the home stretch.

The good thing is, my list of things that I’m not so crazy about are things that should go away immediately or soon after I have the baby (however, the cellulite and XL booty will take some extra effort on my part). They’re just temporary nuisances that I have to deal with in order to get the big reward in May. As much as I complain, I still love it. Most days ;)